from cari
I have been reflecting on this blog and what we want to do with it more generally after a call from a potential client yesterday who found me online. I was in the car when she called and when I asked her whether she was calling about grief work, spiritual direction or what, she very astutely said, “I think some of all you have to offer.” This made me laugh as I imagined my website as a Chinese menu and she was selecting a variety of items to taste and see, samples of what might make her life more delicious.
In rereading the description of this 67-year-old woman’s “problems,” I’m recognizing all the feelings expressed and realize that I’m just past many of them, the pain of going through them, like labor having a child and now on the other side (really just at the outer edge), ready or not for the “what’s next?” It seems every woman, knowingly or unconsciously, goes through this developmental stage and we seem to feel unique and alone when it happens. This is what we may have to offer, in a blog, a book, spiritual counseling, etc. to remind women that YOU ARE NOT ALONE; we’re really all grappling with many of the same emotions and pain. There is, indeed, grief in the midst of this growth, loss of what was. But there is also great joy and blessing, if we don’t get lost in the grief. It can also be a deeply spiritual time, for some of us we finally have the time and freedom to explore more deeply our spiritual sides.
That’s my blog for this morning. I’m looking forward to sharing some of my experiences with you. Welcome!
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from maureen
Cari and I are in a dream group together in which we meet monthly with other women of a certain age, share our dreams and try to determine what our subconscious is telling us through these wacky dreams we seem to have. Interestingly the theme of “getting older” and even facing death seem to crop up often in our dreams. We’re all at an age where we’ve lost or are losing parents, spouses, even siblings. We’re at the age when we know some of our hopes and desires will likely never come to be, where we are beginning to accept that we can’t physically do some of the things we used to be able to do (or thought we could, anyway) when we were younger. It’s a time of letting go — mostly of illusions.
Last week I was having a little “crisis” about not being “good enough” any more, not being attractive or slender or desirable enough. It seems I still struggle with my value as I think others see it. Mostly I see in myself the extra 20 or so pounds that have accumulated over the years, the saggy skin and muscle. In my heart I can’t believe I’m “old” because I just don’t feel old, but sometimes I have to admit I look old, and probably the outside world thinks of me that way. I spent some time looking at pictures of myself in my early 20s, maybe just to remind myself of who I was then and who I am now. And to remind myself that even though I looked pretty good back then, I really didn’t have much else together. At all! I’ve come a long way, baby! And there have been wounds and casualties along the way, and I’m no longer “fresh” but I am whole, and I have done a lot in this life. Just living takes a toll, and I’ve paid the toll and have nothing to apologize for to the world, really.
Cari and I wanted to do this together about women of our generation, who grew up in the 50s and 60s (she’s 9 years older than me), who faced huge changes in culture and society — often helping bring those changes about — and how society tends to see us differently than we see ourselves or than we want to be seen. As women, there’s a point — in our 50s usually — when we feel as though we’ve become invisible. But it should be a time when we come into our true strength, our wisdom, our compassion. So we hope this blog will help other women (and us) remember that true beauty.
I continually have to work on letting go of the past “me” and finding confidence and security in who I am now, who I know myself to be, and not operating out of a fear or sense that there is a scarcity of love/appreciation/respect in the world. So I’ll be doing this blog as much for myself as for anyone else who reads it. And if any of you have some great ideas and suggestions on becoming the women we were meant to be, please feel free to share — kindly and compassionately — in the comments.
Blessings on this journey we travel together, and welcome to our blog!
womenbecoming 